Author: tomcollins

Let’s Not and Say We Did

Little did I know that the continuing saga of Dr. Ivanna Figge-Newton’s sojourn in America would continue to involve Yours Truly, Tom Collins, Washington policy consultant, but choke me to death with hot spotted dick if it didn’t.  Yesterday morning, around ten, my private secretary put me through to what must surely have been the most… Continue reading Let’s Not and Say We Did

British Physicist Ponders Scientific Mystery

I’ve always wondered about the English tradition of hyphenated last names.  The whole concept strikes me as a perfect example of vain impracticality.  As if a woman named Chuzzlewit didn’t have enough problems already – could changing her last name to Havisham be all that bad?  Apparently so, and here comes Ms. Chuzzlewit-Havisham, tripping so… Continue reading British Physicist Ponders Scientific Mystery

Bond Fire of the Securities

My dear sister Rose and I got together for lunch downtown today.  She selected Tosca, on F Street, and ordered the Tuscan lamb.  I had the thymed rabbit ragu. “Tom,” she gratefully told me between bites, “you have no idea how good something like this can taste after you’ve lived off nothing but ground chuck,… Continue reading Bond Fire of the Securities