After a session of particularly grueling Monday morning meetings with unusually ignorant, extraordinarily obtuse and gratuitously argumentative federal bureaucrats of the United States Environmental Protection Agency down at 12th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest, I was ready to go home early and feel sorry for myself in the company of a nice, stiff mixture of Bombay Sapphire… Continue reading Client Number 69
Category: Politics and Law
Tom’s Very Own Three A.M. Call
When Cerise is in my bed, I always turn off the telephone ring tone and let the calls roll over to voice mail. But when I’m by myself, I usually don’t, unless I’m sick or something like that. So the ring tone was operating just fine at three o’clock this morning. “This is Toms Collins,”… Continue reading Tom’s Very Own Three A.M. Call
Unreal at Any Speed
This morning, about eleven, my private secretary told me I had a call from my nephew Jason. Since I was in a meeting that I knew would last until well after noon, I didn’t give any thought to returning it, though. As it happened, then, Jason was nearly frantic when I finally spoke with him… Continue reading Unreal at Any Speed
One Lout Per Churl
Yesterday, shortly after noon, as has been a family tradition for several months now, my brother Rob Roy, his son Jason, and I once more sat down to enjoy the results of Jason’s Saturday lesson in gourmet cuisine, this time also honored by the Fates with the additional company of my lady friend Cerise, who… Continue reading One Lout Per Churl
They Plagiarize Allegiance
It was just another day in the life at the office – the regular same old, same old – until the phone rang. It was my nephew Jason. Jason: Uncle Tom, I’ve got to chew the fat with you. Tom: How many times do I have to tell you not to call me “Uncle Tom?”… Continue reading They Plagiarize Allegiance