It was around four-thirty this afternoon, and Gretchen was getting ready to leave, as a matter of fact. She had her coat on when the call came in, but being the loyal soul she is, the telephone on my desk rang. “Mr. Collins,” she told me, “I have some pitiful dork who says he’s named Eldrick… Continue reading Hold That, Tiger
Category: Art and Culture
White House Reality Check Bounces
Friday, my office was closed. It was the day after Thanksgiving, after all. But five-thirty p.m. found me downtown anyway, at the Willard Hotel’s Round Robin Bar, quaffing one of their signature branch water mint juleps, just as Mark Twain might have done there, more than a century ago. Hell, I could have been sitting… Continue reading White House Reality Check Bounces
What Do They Do On a Rainy Night in Rio?
Around four o’clock yesterday afternoon, Gretchen told me she had a totally distraught, sobbing man on Line Two. When I answered, it turned out to be Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley. Daley: Hello, is this Tom Collins? Tom: Yes, Your Honor, it is I. Daley: Have you… heard what’s just happened? Tom: To tell the… Continue reading What Do They Do On a Rainy Night in Rio?
Mysterious Epidemic Sweeps America
Things were actually pretty quiet around here today – after all, I don’t decide when people desperately require my consultation, they do. And so, there are, as might well be expected, a certain amount of, shall we say, stochastic process variations to my appointment schedule. Not that I mind; in fact, considering how messed up… Continue reading Mysterious Epidemic Sweeps America
’Nuff Said!
My girlfriend Cerise is very sociable, and has formed a large number of deep, lasting relationships with people to whom she is not, in fact, related. She actually goes so far as to write them letters – in longhand, no less – as well as calling them, sending them e-mails, exchanging Facebook links with them,… Continue reading ’Nuff Said!