Onward Christian Sharpshooters!

As luck would have it, Monday was the regularly scheduled bimonthly consultation for Max Slaughter, Chief Policy Analyst for the American Firearms, Ammunition and Tactical Weaponry Manufacturing Association, an industry lobbying group here in Washington DC. He’s always rather upbeat and optimistic, but on this particular morning, he was verging on the positively ebullient. “Excellent… Continue reading Onward Christian Sharpshooters!

Sage Grouse Brouhaha Spells a Recipe for Success

This morning, my ten-thirty AM consultation was with an economist from the USDA. We spent about an hour and ten minutes discussing the ramifications of the Renewable Fuel Standard and its impacts on the corn market. Manufacturing fuel ethanol from corn was a stupid idea when it got started during the Carter administration, of course,… Continue reading Sage Grouse Brouhaha Spells a Recipe for Success

Scientists Say Religion Makes Kids Mean, God Squad Gobsmacked

At the request of my dear sister Rose’s parish priest, I accepted a telephone consultation appointment with Sister Moecha Meretrix, the principal of the Catholic school to whom Rose sends her vast brood of Catholic children, Mother Superior of a local Dominican convent, and, as it happens, a member of the Ecumenical Congress of the… Continue reading Scientists Say Religion Makes Kids Mean, God Squad Gobsmacked

Captagon Captivates Saudis; Saudi Prince Captured with Captagon

“Ahmed” has been annoying Gretchen with requests for an appointment since Monday, but she’s been putting him off, of course. “There’s no way,” she emphatically told me, “that running the air purification system overnight will get rid of the stench. He’s got to be the last consultation on a Friday or working Saturday, as usual,… Continue reading Captagon Captivates Saudis; Saudi Prince Captured with Captagon

Besieged Sanctuary Cities Contemplate Loss of Federal Manna

First thing this morning, I was visited by Mohammed Lumumba al-Kessommak, a strapping young black Muslim socialist who serves as a public policy adviser to the Association of American Liberal Democratic Mayors. He took the chair placed immediately in front of my desk with an air of grim determination and self-righteous umbrage. “Mr. Collins,” he… Continue reading Besieged Sanctuary Cities Contemplate Loss of Federal Manna