Bible Thumpers Start Sweating an Indiana Jones

My four o’clock consultation today was with the Right Reverend Dr. Hezekiah Torquemada Hicks, D.D., Vice President for Public Relations at the Interstate Christian Commerce Committee here in Washington DC. “Greetings, sinner!,” he bellowed as he strode into my office, “Proclaim Jesus Christ as your Savior and repent! He will forgive you, and come Resurrection… Continue reading Bible Thumpers Start Sweating an Indiana Jones

Better the Putin You Know than the Putin You Don’t

As the day after Christmas before a weekend, this Friday was a federal holiday, but to about half of my clients, that didn’t mean squat. For quite a few of them, it was just another Friday, either because they’re not Christians and they don’t care a fig about when Jesus was born, or, like Dr.… Continue reading Better the Putin You Know than the Putin You Don’t

Ugandan President to Visit Exotic and Inscrutable USA

Yesterday, Gretchen had occasion to squeeze Dr. Bashafala Kumanina Kinuka Mkundu, Primary Under Assistant Secretary for Economic, Cultural and Scientific Affairs of the Ugandan Embassy to the United States of America, into my consultation schedule. “Mr. Collins,” she complained to me via IM Chat from her computer in the reception area, “this Dr. Mknundu is… Continue reading Ugandan President to Visit Exotic and Inscrutable USA

Teddy Bears Invade Belarus, Lukashenko Retaliates

My final consultation on Friday wasn’t in my office, it was at the Rwandan Embassy on New Hampshire Avenue.  After two and a half hours discussing strategies for dealing with Congolese coltan smugglers, I had worked up a decent cocktail hour thirst, so I decided to stroll over to Lilies Bar in the Carlyle Hotel… Continue reading Teddy Bears Invade Belarus, Lukashenko Retaliates