“Ahmed” has been annoying Gretchen with requests for an appointment since Monday, but she’s been putting him off, of course. “There’s no way,” she emphatically told me, “that running the air purification system overnight will get rid of the stench. He’s got to be the last consultation on a Friday or working Saturday, as usual,… Continue reading Captagon Captivates Saudis; Saudi Prince Captured with Captagon
Tag: crime
Office of Personnel Management Can’t Manage to Keep a Secret
Weeknights at the Round Robin Bar tend to be quiet, uncrowded and convivial – unless it’s a Friday, when things become a bit more, shall we say, kinetic. Last night should have been one of the former, naturally, but it definitely wasn’t. When I walked in, there were Horn and Hardart, going at it hammer… Continue reading Office of Personnel Management Can’t Manage to Keep a Secret
FIFA Fie Fo Fum! An Evil Giant Bumbles, Stumbles and Falls
Early this afternoon, Merdoso Donnato Pompino, representing the Fédération Internationale de Football Association, paid me a visit for a consultation. Obviously still on Naples time, he arrived twenty minutes late, and obviously a completely self-absorbed, if obviously aging jock, he nevertheless spent another ten trying to get Gretchen’s telephone number. What the hell, as far… Continue reading FIFA Fie Fo Fum! An Evil Giant Bumbles, Stumbles and Falls
I Spy a Peeping Rabbi
My very last consultation last Friday was with Rabbi Mordechi Dovid Slivovitz of Silver Spring, Maryland, recently elected President of the Modern Orthodox Rabbinical Organization National and International Council. Frankly, I’ve never seen him so upset. “Oy vey ist mir,” he wailed as he plunked his ample, ovoid frame down on the couch with an… Continue reading I Spy a Peeping Rabbi
Texas Conservatives Drunk with Rage at Rick Perry’s Indictment
Around seven on Friday evening, just as I was about to congratulate myself on a very long and profitable day which had begun shortly before six in the morning, I received a telephone call from Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III, Texan extraordinaire. Tom: Hello, this is Tom Collins. Austin: Tom? That you? Tom: Yes.… Continue reading Texas Conservatives Drunk with Rage at Rick Perry’s Indictment