19 Buenos Tipos Con Armas Pero Sin Cojones

It’s Memorial Day weekend 2022, and since New Year’s Day, the United States of America has averaged three mass shootings every two days. Cerise’s latest issue of The New Yorker, which arrived in her mail yesterday, opened the Talk of the Town with a Comment entitled “Gun Country.” It concerned a massacre committed by one… Continue reading 19 Buenos Tipos Con Armas Pero Sin Cojones

Southern Tradition Faces a Monumental Threat

Starting Wednesday afternoon and continuing into Thursday, Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III called my office a total of eleven times, requesting that Gretchen schedule an emergency telephone consultation with me as soon as possible. Actually, “requested” and “as soon as possible” put it rather mildly – as regular readers of this Web log know,… Continue reading Southern Tradition Faces a Monumental Threat

When a Golden Opportunity Knocks, Texas Answers

It was that weekend around the Fourth of July, and six entire consecutive days away from the office is a welcome rarity for Gretchen. And as it turned out this morning, she certainly needed the equanimity a short vacation can confer, as Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III – married horndog Texan who should know… Continue reading When a Golden Opportunity Knocks, Texas Answers

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon Operation Jade Helm

Usually, Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III stops by for a consultation whenever he’s here in Washington DC, but Friday afternoon, I got a telephone call from him instead. Gretchen’s voice had a distinct air of relief in it as she announced Austin’s call over the intercom, since he groped her pretty heavily during his… Continue reading The Eyes of Texas Are Upon Operation Jade Helm

Texas Conservatives Drunk with Rage at Rick Perry’s Indictment

Around seven on Friday evening, just as I was about to congratulate myself on a very long and profitable day which had begun shortly before six in the morning, I received a telephone call from Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III, Texan extraordinaire. Tom: Hello, this is Tom Collins. Austin: Tom? That you? Tom: Yes.… Continue reading Texas Conservatives Drunk with Rage at Rick Perry’s Indictment