Bible Thumpers Start Sweating an Indiana Jones

My four o’clock consultation today was with the Right Reverend Dr. Hezekiah Torquemada Hicks, D.D., Vice President for Public Relations at the Interstate Christian Commerce Committee here in Washington DC. “Greetings, sinner!,” he bellowed as he strode into my office, “Proclaim Jesus Christ as your Savior and repent! He will forgive you, and come Resurrection… Continue reading Bible Thumpers Start Sweating an Indiana Jones

Ugandan President to Visit Exotic and Inscrutable USA

Yesterday, Gretchen had occasion to squeeze Dr. Bashafala Kumanina Kinuka Mkundu, Primary Under Assistant Secretary for Economic, Cultural and Scientific Affairs of the Ugandan Embassy to the United States of America, into my consultation schedule. “Mr. Collins,” she complained to me via IM Chat from her computer in the reception area, “this Dr. Mknundu is… Continue reading Ugandan President to Visit Exotic and Inscrutable USA

Duck, Duck, Duck, Duck… Homophobic Racist!

I’m not generally a morning person, but when one of my clients wants a consultation in my downtown office at 6:00 AM, it’s my professional duty to be there, and this morning, I was.  Very few of my clients are like that, however, so after completing a ninety minute meeting with a ramrod stiff colonel… Continue reading Duck, Duck, Duck, Duck… Homophobic Racist!

Paula Deen’s N-Word Problem Only Tip of Iceberg

My very first consultation on Thursday morning was with Dr. Omunika Tyronenette Shabazz, Vice Director of the Center for Political Correctness here in Washington DC.  The purpose of her visit became clear almost immediately. “Mr. Collins,” she opened as she picked up the heavy, leather upholstered chair positioned to the right of my desk and… Continue reading Paula Deen’s N-Word Problem Only Tip of Iceberg

Of Wetbacks, Moose Eaters, and Congressman Don Young

Bright and early this Friday morning, I received a call from United States Congressman Don Young – don’t fret if you have never heard of him, because before he distinguished himself during a candid interview on radio station KRBD this week, Don was the sole member of the House of Representatives for the state of… Continue reading Of Wetbacks, Moose Eaters, and Congressman Don Young