“Ahmed” has been annoying Gretchen with requests for an appointment since Monday, but she’s been putting him off, of course. “There’s no way,” she emphatically told me, “that running the air purification system overnight will get rid of the stench. He’s got to be the last consultation on a Friday or working Saturday, as usual,… Continue reading Captagon Captivates Saudis; Saudi Prince Captured with Captagon
Tag: jokes
Besieged Sanctuary Cities Contemplate Loss of Federal Manna
First thing this morning, I was visited by Mohammed Lumumba al-Kessommak, a strapping young black Muslim socialist who serves as a public policy adviser to the Association of American Liberal Democratic Mayors. He took the chair placed immediately in front of my desk with an air of grim determination and self-righteous umbrage. “Mr. Collins,” he… Continue reading Besieged Sanctuary Cities Contemplate Loss of Federal Manna
Ben Carson to Learn How to Engage Brain Before Putting Mouth in Gear
As frequent readers of this Web log are no doubt aware, my full name is Tom Collins Martini. I have mentioned before that my grandfather grew up in New York’s Little Italy and subsequently abandoned it, anglicizing his last name to Martin, moving to a white picket fence suburb and forbidding his wife to speak… Continue reading Ben Carson to Learn How to Engage Brain Before Putting Mouth in Gear
Boehner Resigns; Republicans Form Circular Firing Squad
After the Union Army of the Cumberland was routed by the redoubtable Confederate General Braxton Bragg at the Battle of Chickamauga, President Abraham Lincoln noted that its commander, General William S. Rosecrans, was “confused and stunned like a duck hit on the head.” I never fully understood what Lincoln was talking about until this morning,… Continue reading Boehner Resigns; Republicans Form Circular Firing Squad
A Sheila on a Sawbuck??
This morning, I received a visit from Dr. Benjamin Cash, a branch chief from the Treasury Department. He was there to review the results of a currency logistics mathematical model which I developed after being requested to do so last June, when Treasury Secretary Jack Lew announced that a portrait of a woman would replace… Continue reading A Sheila on a Sawbuck??