My very first appointment last Friday morning (at a mind-numbing 6:30 a.m., I might add) was with Rabbi Mordechi Slivovitz, an august, erudite and truly imposing personage who also happens to be, among many, many other things, the current President of the Chosen Peoples’ Order of the Masada Machabee Martyrs, headquartered in Silver Spring, Maryland. … Continue reading Zionist Leaders Contemplate Unholy Alliance to Defeat Hagel
Early Friday morning, a person identifying themself as Robin Tracey Innis Masozi Dale began calling my office in Washington DC, more or less pestering the dickens out of poor Gretchen, my private secretary, by urgently asking for a telephone consultation, over and over again. As it happened, I couldn’t spare a minute – I was booked solid until six… Continue reading David Petraeus and John Allen Caught in General Scandal
Yesterday morning, I had yet another appointment with Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III, a sixth-generation Texas rancher and conservative political operative who, it seems, pays me a visit nearly every time he travels to Washington. Most of our consultation concerned election strategies for Mitt Romney, on whose campaign Mr. Bonham now proudly serves. Toward… Continue reading Texas to United Nations – Don’t Mess with Lubbock!
Julian Assange, charismatic leader of Wikileaks, desperate fugitive from Swedish justice and now the latest member of Interpol’s Most Wanted List, has been sleeping on an air mattress in an office at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London since June 19. Today, he emerged onto a balcony (which is, technically, in Ecuador) above the street outside… Continue reading Welcome to the Hotel Ecuador, Mr. Assange
My final consultation on Friday wasn’t in my office, it was at the Rwandan Embassy on New Hampshire Avenue. After two and a half hours discussing strategies for dealing with Congolese coltan smugglers, I had worked up a decent cocktail hour thirst, so I decided to stroll over to Lilies Bar in the Carlyle Hotel… Continue reading Teddy Bears Invade Belarus, Lukashenko Retaliates