Idiots’ Delight on Capitol Hill

Around ten o’clock this morning, Phineas “Trey” Forrest Beauregard Wanker III, senior staffer to junior Senator Thomas Bryant “Tom” Cotton of Arkansas, paid me a visit. His boss, Senator Cotton, has been here in Washington DC for about two years, and has served in the United States Senate, as the incumbent Secretary of State recently… Continue reading Idiots’ Delight on Capitol Hill

Did Petraeus Betray Us? Only His Mistress Knows for Sure!

My dear sister Rose’s oldest son, Hank Jr., came down to DC this week from Rhode Island, where he is studying art at Brown, in order to curate some recent modern art acquisitions for the Smithsonian. He brought along his current girlfriend, Lorelei, who is an English major. Hank Jr. dropped by my office on… Continue reading Did Petraeus Betray Us? Only His Mistress Knows for Sure!

Bill O’Reilly Recommends the Universal Solvent – Money

Thursday, I finished late – the last consultation ended at a quarter of nine. My footsteps echoed in the quiet, deserted parking garage under the building. Approaching my imported sports car, just as I was about to take out the electronic key to open the door, I heard an anxious whisper from behind a nearby… Continue reading Bill O’Reilly Recommends the Universal Solvent – Money

US Navy Gets Screwed by Fat Guy in Singpore and It Hurts

On a Friday night in a Norfolk, Virginia bar, a stone’s throw from the Navy’s most important base on the East Coast, you can meet a lot of miserable, drunken sailors.  But if you visit a bar, as I did, on a Friday night in Crystal City, Virginia, within spitting distance of the Pentagon, you… Continue reading US Navy Gets Screwed by Fat Guy in Singpore and It Hurts

The Internet Gets Pwned by NSA

Syria had everyone who is anyone in Washington – and their assistants – which includes me and Gretchen, of course, inside working today.  That’s a real shame because the weather was absolutely gorgeous outdoors and all I could do was look through the picture window at it as the sun shined down through a seventy-five… Continue reading The Internet Gets Pwned by NSA