Blunderball – Starring Devin Nunes

“Does the name Elizabeth Tamariz Nunes mean anything to you?” Gretchen texted me during my eleven o’clock appointment with the Japanese Special Envoy for Robotics and Artificial Intelligence Technology. “Because she’s called three times since 8 AM and says she needs one of your free telephone consultations right away!” “No problem,” I texted back. “Book… Continue reading Blunderball – Starring Devin Nunes

US Spies Failing to Decipher Donald Trump

I can’t discuss what Vernum and I worked on during his consultation Friday at 3:30, since he’s with the CIA and the subject matter was classified. On the other hand, after I completed my final appointment that evening, I headed down to the Willard Hotel, and there, in Round Robin Bar, I saw Vernum slouched,… Continue reading US Spies Failing to Decipher Donald Trump

Captain America in the Turkey Coup – A Confederacy of Gobblers

My eleven o’clock consultation on Friday morning was with Vice President Joe Biden. He’s a very busy fellow, of course, and it’s hardly practical for him to visit my office, what with the Secret Service detail and all of the security issues involved. So he called, naturally. Biden: Hello, Tom? Tom: Good morning, Mr. Vice… Continue reading Captain America in the Turkey Coup – A Confederacy of Gobblers

Office of Personnel Management Can’t Manage to Keep a Secret

Weeknights at the Round Robin Bar tend to be quiet, uncrowded and convivial – unless it’s a Friday, when things become a bit more, shall we say, kinetic. Last night should have been one of the former, naturally, but it definitely wasn’t. When I walked in, there were Horn and Hardart, going at it hammer… Continue reading Office of Personnel Management Can’t Manage to Keep a Secret

FIFA Fie Fo Fum! An Evil Giant Bumbles, Stumbles and Falls

Early this afternoon, Merdoso Donnato Pompino, representing the Fédération Internationale de Football Association, paid me a visit for a consultation. Obviously still on Naples time, he arrived twenty minutes late, and obviously a completely self-absorbed, if obviously aging jock, he nevertheless spent another ten trying to get Gretchen’s telephone number. What the hell, as far… Continue reading FIFA Fie Fo Fum! An Evil Giant Bumbles, Stumbles and Falls