The Apple Fell off the Tree and Rolled into the Sewer

A highly unseasonable cold snap hit the Washington DC area (and, indeed, most of the United States west of the Rocky Mountains) this weekend, so Saturday morning found me relaxing indoors sipping a cup of Kopi Luwak with a shot of Remy Martin XO in it and my cat Twinkle curled up on the couch… Continue reading The Apple Fell off the Tree and Rolled into the Sewer

Did He Spy for the FBI, or is that Just a Lie?

As regular readers of this Web log are aware, my appointments sometimes come so thick and fast there simply aren’t enough workday hours between Monday and Friday to hold them. So it was Saturday, when, after five solid ten-hour days, Gretchen booked another eight, despite the fact that it was Memorial Day weekend. Here in… Continue reading Did He Spy for the FBI, or is that Just a Lie?

Anthony Weiner Cocks Up Again

Anthony D. Weiner started calling my office Tuesday, asking for a consultation. Having taken off the entire month of July, I’ve been very busy lately, despite it being summer here in Washington DC, and Gretchen just couldn’t find an open spot anywhere in the schedule. So around six-thirty in the evening the next day, she… Continue reading Anthony Weiner Cocks Up Again

Sugar Honey Graham Discovers 20th Century Technology

This morning, just as I concluded a consultation about Boko Haram’s latest overtures to ISIL with a distraught Nigerian diplomat, Gretchen buzzed me on the intercom. “Mr. Collins,” she told me, “there’s this old Southern lady on Line Two. She sounds exactly like Woody Allen imitating Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire.” “Did this… Continue reading Sugar Honey Graham Discovers 20th Century Technology

Democrats Leave Mary Landrieu Twisting Slowly in the Wind

Starting early Friday morning and continuing well after lunch, a certain Millicent Gesaesshower de Bouvier Jones called the office and bugged Gretchen for a telephone consultation about every fifteen minutes. Finally, Gretchen managed to fit her in between a Taiwanese economist and a Bulgarian cultural envoy. Jones: Hello, hello? Is this Tom Collins? Tom: Yes,… Continue reading Democrats Leave Mary Landrieu Twisting Slowly in the Wind