Yesterday, I received an encrypted IM from Gretchen about scheduling a new appointment: Some guy named Mark Meadows called. Claimed he works at the White House. Sounded like a complete backwoods hick with a deep-fried redneck accent that would embarrass Larry the Cable Guy. It appears he’s what happens when southerners marry their cousins for… Continue reading MAGA 2: Electric Boogaloo
Tag: terrorism
Washington’s Afghan Fudge Flavored Self-licking Ice Cream Cone
When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains, And the women come out to cut up what remains, Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier. – Rudyard Kipling Despite the impression that numerous posts may have created, I don’t always conduct consultations in my… Continue reading Washington’s Afghan Fudge Flavored Self-licking Ice Cream Cone
La Follia del Kurdistan dell’Imbecille Nella Casa Bianca
As regular readers of this Web log know, I’m an Italian-American – my full name is Tom Collins Martini, and my father, now long retired, was a bartender at a Manhattan society hotel. In the 1960’s and 1970’s, he invented a number of modern martini cocktails and named his children after the ones of which… Continue reading La Follia del Kurdistan dell’Imbecille Nella Casa Bianca
Money Isn’t Everything, but It’s Mighty Handy if You’ve Been Kidnapped in Iraq
My very last consultation last Friday was “Ahmed.” That’s what he calls himself, and since he invariably pays cash, I couldn’t care less what his real name is. Historically, he’s been a very, very good customer – no matter how much I charge, he always pays up. And every time he calls to book an… Continue reading Money Isn’t Everything, but It’s Mighty Handy if You’ve Been Kidnapped in Iraq
Captain America in the Turkey Coup – A Confederacy of Gobblers
My eleven o’clock consultation on Friday morning was with Vice President Joe Biden. He’s a very busy fellow, of course, and it’s hardly practical for him to visit my office, what with the Secret Service detail and all of the security issues involved. So he called, naturally. Biden: Hello, Tom? Tom: Good morning, Mr. Vice… Continue reading Captain America in the Turkey Coup – A Confederacy of Gobblers