White House White Washes Little Green Men

I was down at the Round Robin Bar in the Willard Hotel again tonight, having a couple of drinks after work, when I spied Wolfram, who works at the White House, downing a branch water mint julep all by himself.  So I went over to his table and joined him. “No point in drinking alone,”… Continue reading White House White Washes Little Green Men

A Hot Time in Old Town Santa Fe for Dr. Muller, Courtesy of the Koch Brothers

Today, I conducted a consultation with Dr. Jadwiga Ordure-Cerveau, Ph.D., senior vice-president of the Climatological Union of Nonequilibrium Thermodynamic Skeptics, a non-profit educational scientific organization headquartered here in Washington, DC.  Her problem stormed out of her mouth the moment she seated herself squarely in the chair situated directly in front of my desk. “Collins,” she… Continue reading A Hot Time in Old Town Santa Fe for Dr. Muller, Courtesy of the Koch Brothers

Raising Cain Above Romney, Perry and Bucket of… N-P-K?

Early last Friday, Gretchen received a call from the Herman Cain campaign, who displayed a respectable amount of organization by booking a telephone consultation for their candidate on Tuesday morning. Cain: Hello?  Tom Collins? Tom: At your service, sir. Cain: Oh, I do like the sound of that. Tom: I am truly gratified to hear you… Continue reading Raising Cain Above Romney, Perry and Bucket of… N-P-K?

Obama’s Lethal Pen Strikes Terror in Yemen

Today, I received a visit from Dr. Neekni Bzez-Emak ibn Himar, Chairman of the National Islamic People’s Party Legal Extension Service, which is headquartered here in Washington DC.  Fresh from a meeting at the Embassy of the Republic of Yemen, he was equally full of tea and indignation. “Mr. Collins,” he bitterly complained, “words can… Continue reading Obama’s Lethal Pen Strikes Terror in Yemen

Occupy Wall Street Gets Street Smart

Columbus Day is a federal holiday, and, in my humble opinion, no other day is more suitable.  After all, Columbus was dead wrong about the key assumption underlying his endeavours, that being the size of the earth.  Every educated person in Columbus’ day knew it was round, of course – that realization went back to… Continue reading Occupy Wall Street Gets Street Smart