MAGA 2: Electric Boogaloo

Yesterday, I received an encrypted IM from Gretchen about scheduling a new appointment: Some guy named Mark Meadows called. Claimed he works at the White House. Sounded like a complete backwoods hick with a deep-fried redneck accent that would embarrass Larry the Cable Guy. It appears he’s what happens when southerners marry their cousins for… Continue reading MAGA 2: Electric Boogaloo

Washington Gets an Impounding Headache

My sister-in-law Katje invited herself over to my office Friday morning and camped out in the reception area chatting with Gretchen about the myriad evils of the Trump administration and regaling my paying clients about the ongoing impeachment of the President until I agreed to speak with her. As it happened, I was booked solid… Continue reading Washington Gets an Impounding Headache

Washington’s Afghan Fudge Flavored Self-licking Ice Cream Cone

When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains, And the women come out to cut up what remains, Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier. – Rudyard Kipling Despite the impression that numerous posts may have created, I don’t always conduct consultations in my… Continue reading Washington’s Afghan Fudge Flavored Self-licking Ice Cream Cone

Survivalists Dismayed as Nuclear War Proves Unlikely

Earth Day 2017 here in Washington DC dawned cold and rainy, which was a disappointment for Cerise, who had gone to considerable trouble getting my concurrence for a proposed bike trip down the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal towpath from Great Falls to Georgetown and back. Instead, after rising early and finding the weather dreary, we… Continue reading Survivalists Dismayed as Nuclear War Proves Unlikely

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon Operation Jade Helm

Usually, Austin Houston Crockett Bowie Bonham III stops by for a consultation whenever he’s here in Washington DC, but Friday afternoon, I got a telephone call from him instead. Gretchen’s voice had a distinct air of relief in it as she announced Austin’s call over the intercom, since he groped her pretty heavily during his… Continue reading The Eyes of Texas Are Upon Operation Jade Helm