This morning, just as I concluded a consultation about Boko Haram’s latest overtures to ISIL with a distraught Nigerian diplomat, Gretchen buzzed me on the intercom. “Mr. Collins,” she told me, “there’s this old Southern lady on Line Two. She sounds exactly like Woody Allen imitating Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire.” “Did this… Continue reading Sugar Honey Graham Discovers 20th Century Technology
Tag: Obama
Crusader Babbitt – Obama Develops Foot-in-Mouth Disease
My ten o’clock consultation today was Dr. Batroun Ibn Himaar, an econometrician at the World Bank. For about an hour and ten minutes, things went pretty much as I expected while we discussed the probabilistic projections of international currency exchange rates based on a stochastic optimization model of petroleum prices. But at the conclusion of… Continue reading Crusader Babbitt – Obama Develops Foot-in-Mouth Disease
Netanyahu Goes For Big Boehner Action
At ten o’clock Friday morning, I received an urgent call from Dr. Harah Ben-Zonah, First Secretary of the Israeli Kus Emmak Party. Tom: Good afternoon, Dr. Ben-Zonah. Ben-Zonah: And good morning to you, Mr. Collins. Please, call me Harah. Tom: My pleasure. Call me Tom. How can I help you today? Harah: As a major… Continue reading Netanyahu Goes For Big Boehner Action
Democrats Leave Mary Landrieu Twisting Slowly in the Wind
Starting early Friday morning and continuing well after lunch, a certain Millicent Gesaesshower de Bouvier Jones called the office and bugged Gretchen for a telephone consultation about every fifteen minutes. Finally, Gretchen managed to fit her in between a Taiwanese economist and a Bulgarian cultural envoy. Jones: Hello, hello? Is this Tom Collins? Tom: Yes,… Continue reading Democrats Leave Mary Landrieu Twisting Slowly in the Wind
Ain’t Misbehaving – GOP Caught in a Twitstorm
Yesterday morning at nine, I was visited by Harold Scheisskopf, Political Strategy Coordinator with the National Republican Congressional Committee. He projected his usual veneer of smug, supercilious Skull and Bones pretension, but beneath it, I readily detected a current of distinct unease. “Nice [expletive]-kicking we gave the Democrats, huh?” Scheisskopf opened as he assumed the… Continue reading Ain’t Misbehaving – GOP Caught in a Twitstorm