While relaxing at home in Great Falls, Virginia, this afternoon, I received a telephone call from Jacques, my thoroughly French friend from La Sorbonne. Jacques: Hello, Tom? Comment vas-tu? Tom: Ca va, et toi? Jacques: To tell the truth, my friend Tom, I am not so happy today, because of what I have read on… Continue reading Mitt Romney’s Southern Fried French Connection
Tag: parody
The ICE Men Bungleth Custody of Jakadrien Turner
Last night, Cerise and I dropped by the Round Robin Bar at the Willard Hotel to enjoy some of their exquisite cocktails before the theater. After we had ordered, she surveyed the crowd, then leaned close, speaking softly. “See that fellow over there?” Cerise asked. “The one drinking alone? That’s Bletchley. I know his wife. … Continue reading The ICE Men Bungleth Custody of Jakadrien Turner
Anonymous Reveals STRATFOR’S Deep Seated Insecurities
Being booked solid on Friday from seven-thirty a.m. through well past six in the evening, I felt perfectly justified in setting aside an hour and fifteen minutes for lunch. But I had to cancel my reservation and send out instead, because Mooney from STRATFOR had spent most of Thursday afternoon and Friday morning pestering Gretchen… Continue reading Anonymous Reveals STRATFOR’S Deep Seated Insecurities
Iowa, Pizza Ranch and the GOP – What Would Jesus Order?
My eleven o’clock consultation appointment today was with Marco P. Capellini, who usually lobbies for the National Restaurant Association. Today, however, he was on family business and paying out of his own pocket – or at least offering to do so. “No, no,” I insisted, “please – this one’s on me. Consider it pro bono.”… Continue reading Iowa, Pizza Ranch and the GOP – What Would Jesus Order?
North Koreans to Continue Wearing Clothes Until Further Notice
“Mr. Collins?” Gretchen softly spoke, poking her blonde head in between the oak doors leading to my office. “Did you drop off some dry cleaning down the street and forget to tell me about it?” “No,” I replied, “my latest load went to that place on Georgetown Pike in Great Falls.” “Okay,” she shrugged, “I… Continue reading North Koreans to Continue Wearing Clothes Until Further Notice